Does anyone remember that VH1 show called "Behind the Music that Sucks?"
I don't think it lasted very long, but I always liked that show. And it was odd, because they would trash artists that I was happy to see trashed, like Mariah Carey, but then they would go after, say, the Smashing Pumpkins.
I don't think Mariah Carey and Smashing Pumpkins are on the same level of sucking. However, this list is not only about sucking, hence the inclusion of - the Smashing Pumpkins.
So keep in mind, I'm not saying all these bands "suck" although some of them do.
But every last one of them are very overrated, in my humble opinion of course.
Without further ado, let's get started with the Whiny Bull Crap.
1. Journey
Journey is on here for one reason, and one reason only - Don't Stop Believing.
That song is one of the most overplayed, horrendous pieces of music I have ever heard. It embodies the term whiny bull crap and has been adopted by nearly every show choir group that has existed over the past 30 years, with one particularly egregious offender, that I won't name here.
It needs to stop, and the memory of it needs to be erased from the books of music history for all eternity.
It's time to stop believing.
2. Slipknot
Slipknot's popularity has very little to do with their music. Instead, it's based on satanic costumes, bizarre stage antics (throwing up on stage - on purpose), and a massive band that produces a lot of chaos with very little musicality. This is their claim to fame, and overrated doesn't really even do it justice.
Satan stuff and goats. That'll show 'em. Flickr Commons image via Relux
3. Smashing Pumpkins
Even in their hay-day the Smashing Pumpkins' tried to be way too cute with a lot of their music. Cherub Rock was good, Siva was good, but so many of their tracks were just odd. Billy Corgan's voice might have been one of their biggest strengths and weaknesses, but holy smokes it's whiny.
These days, the band gets along without D'arcy Wretzk, but with James Iha and Jimmy Chamberlain back in the mix.
Corgan is looking rough these days. To quote one of my favorite YouTube comments: "The only pedals this dude needs is bike pedals."
This is fine. Image via You-know-who's Instagram
4. Nirvana
Kurt Cobain's ability to brand himself was - in my opinion - far more effective and endearing to his fans than his actual music. The chord progression for "Smells Like Teen Spirit" sounds like something I could have come up with in my garage when I was 14, but I suppose jokes on me because I'd rather be cashing his early '90s paychecks.
That said, they've been held up for decades now as this picture of innovation and musicianship.
Cobain was a unique character, to be sure. But without that character, I'd imagine they would have had a lot less reach.
They were fine, but they don't deserve their own genre.
5. Motley Crue
Anyone seen Vince Neil lately? Holy smokes.
Motley Crue sold sex, vulgarity, legal issues, and hellacious personal lives. They've moved on from the geriatric dude guitar player in stripper boots, but their legacy - like many of the other bands on this list - was not based primarily on their music.
Although, "Dr. Feelgood" is okay.
How big a' boy are ya? Good grief, Vince. Image via Wikimedia Commons
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers
RHCP is not the worst offender when it comes to relying on shock and cults of personality. That said, performing naked on stage and employing a guitar player that threw a handful of hissy fits during live performances is certainly leaning that direction.
I would contend that their bigger problem is just that their music isn't really that good. It's not bad, but I wouldn't really even call it rock or metal, yet they're included in the rock genre consistently. They have a unique sound, but they don't deserve the press they've gotten over the years.
Look, I wear pants AND shorts. Flickr Commons image via Stephen Eckert
7. Twisted Sister
One song - apparently that's all it takes.
Dee Snider sings "We're Not Gonna Take It" a lot, then consistently takes it from a laundry list of authority figures.
Either way, that song is beyond annoying, and should not have been enough to carry a band that saw fit to release a Christmas album that included "O Come All Ye Faithful."
Dee Snider is living proof that it really just takes one song, and that song doesn't even have to be good. Image via Wikimedia Commons
Thoughts?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that some folks are going to disagree with this list. To be honest, that's kind of what it's for. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
But keep it mean.
I'll see you there and we'll iron out these totally objective facts about the bands we like and/or don't like, together.
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Written by Bobby Kittleberger on Songs & Roundups
Written by Bobby Kittleberger on Songs & Roundups
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